I know lately my posts have been a bit few and far between, but I’d much rather put out blog posts that I’m actually happy with the quality of, instead of just pumping out content which I don’t feel like are even good. I really felt like I wanted to just write something that wasn’t really fashion or beauty based today, and just take a little bit of time to spill my brains. So I’ve got some rap going in the background, which for some reason is my favourite music to listen to while I’m writing, and I wanted to kind of explain why I even started my blog in the first place.
I think to preface this I have to say that I have always been obsessed with fashion. Not always in a kind of “conventional” designer and trend knowledge based kind of way, but I’ve always, like ever since I can remember just loved clothes and the way people put them together and express themselves through them. I was always the kid that everyone in my family would ask for fashion advice, and looking back I have no clue why because for a lot of the time when I was younger I didn’t even dress very well at all. I would drool over the Devil Wears Prada, and spend so so much time just flipping through fashion magazines and showing my family what I liked and didn’t. However, even though I loved this world so much, I remember never really wearing what I wanted to because I was kind of scared. To me now that just seems so insane because the things that I thought were a bit ‘too much’ for me back then are things I wear almost as my go to pieces now. For example, before I bought my Doc Martens about 5 years ago now, I didn’t think they would suit me, which is fucking crazy because my docs are probably my most worn and beloved shoe ever.
So moving forward in my life a little bit, and getting a bit deep, but I’ve always kind of struggled with my mental health, and I’ve been through some really low points and what seemed to be the only thing I could bring myself to actually be able to still get myself motivated enough to try with were my creative subjects. Throughout high school and college these were pretty much always the same; textiles (fashion) and photography, and I was pretty good at them when I could get myself motivated enough to try hard, and I did get a few awards for textiles in particular.
After I left school my mental health sort of went downhill again, I think just the major lifestyle change of not having the constant routine because at the time I was only working on a casual basis really was a bit of a shock to the system, so I started to really try and focus more on being creative. During my first year out of school I really didn’t do much at all, and it really did bring me down a bit, it was a bit of a tough year for me, not gonna lie. I started getting really into more fashion bloggers and youtubers, whereas before I pretty much exclusively watched beauty and makeup based videos. I was sooo very inspired by this, and I began thinking about how much I would love to do it too. I was really worried about being judged of course, I was 18-19 at this time and while the super bitchiness of being a teenager was pretty much over, putting myself out there onto the internet like this made me (and still does to an extent) make me feel really vulnerable.
I finally started my blog after thinking about it for ages and talking to my boyfriend and some of my closest friends about it, who all were so supportive and told me I should just go for it, which I think was the kind of push I needed. Sugarhoneyicedtee.com was born a little over a year ago, and while I’ve really never been consistent with posting for different reasons, I’ve loved having a proper hobby, which I haven’t felt like I’ve had in quite a while. I’m one of those people who needs to be creative, and this is my way of fulfilling that for myself. So really that’s why I blog, more than anything, it’s just for myself.
On to a bit of a lighter note, earlier I spoke about when I was younger not wearing things because I’d been too ‘scared’ to, and while as I’ve gotten older I’ve pretty much gotten over this, there’s still some things that I absolutely love in my wardrobe but don’t wear enough for one reason or another, this amazing blazer being one of them. I love this blazer so much, I’ve literally done a whole post dedicated to it in the past, but it just doesn’t get the wear that it deserves. I think sometimes it makes me look to old, and if I’m wearing to on an everyday basis just to go shopping or whatever I feel a bit too dressed up. I think some of this is attributed to where I live, but I think I need to force myself into wearing this sometimes, because I honestly do feel amazing in it, and I personally think I can make it look pretty cool.
If you’ve read this whole post then thank you, it’s definitely been one of my longer ones, but it’s also been something I just really wanted to put out there. I do view my blog as a kind of a personal place, obviously there are things I would probably never share so openly on the internet but for me this is something I think should be spoken about more, and it’s okay to be struggling a bit and just do things for yourself instead of worrying too much about if other people are gonna hate it or not.
When I wrote my last disposable diary post I said I had more photos waiting for another edition, so that’s what I put together today. I feel like I kind of repeat myself a lot in the little written parts of these posts, but I seriously do love making these, and it is nice to have a break from having to go through and edit a bunch of photos of just myself. I was so keen to get this camera developed that I did end up taking a lot of sunset photos, so little disclaimer there, but they just look so pretty on film. Anyway here’s to another camera filled, hope you all enjoy.
I just went down my old posts and I have not done a disposable diary since May, wtfff. I’ve filled two cameras since then so I’m going to do a separate post for each one so it’s not too massive, but I’m honestly shocked that I haven’t been taking as many photos as I usually do and that I’ve taken so long to get my film developed. I’ve only done 3 of these posts so far on my blog but I think it’s pretty safe for me to say that they’re my favourites to write and make. These were the first posts that I started to edit the photos kinda heavily on, and I think the vibe that I got from them has really influenced me to spread that throughout all my posts, therefore really making them and my little space here more reflective of me.
Anyway, that was probably such a bunch of rambly nonsense, I hope you enjoy this post and my little film moments. Some of these are from back in June, but my next one of these will have the more recent pictures.
My corset is vintage from @revamped.co on instagram, they have some super cute pieces
Btw, if you live in or around Canberra the walk up to Gibraltar Peak is lovely (I’m super unfit so the last part uphill killed a little part of me, but it’s worth it).
Whenever the colder weather starts to come around, I’m always excited to wear my stupidly large amount of knitted jumpers and bring out the jacket collection, but after a little while of winter, I’m already getting over it. I’ve always been kind of like this, wanting cold when it’s hot and vice versa, but this year I think I’m feeling it more than usual.
Over last summer I discovered an insane love of dresses, and honestly, I miss wearing them and feeling girly and pretty. That, mixed with seeing the UK and American bloggers etc that I love wearing beautiful summer clothing, is making me feel that seasonal depression hardcore.
Everything I wear in winter I do love a lot, don’t get me wrong, but I feel like wearing jeans with a knitted jumper, and a jacket thrown on top gets old after a while. Like I said before, I own way more knits than a girl needs, and I have a big of a thing for jackets and coats, but there’s only so much excitement I get out of them. A lot of the winter clothes that I wear are not particularly figure flattering, there’s a lot of straight leg jeans and baggy jumpers, so sometimes I just don’t feel great about myself either.
I’m trying to mix it up a little bit, but honestly when it’s as cold as it has been here in Canberra recently, warm but unflattering clothes are usually the way to go unfortunately. But I guess they hide the winter weight a bit, which is a plus.
As a little side note, lately I’ve been feeling like what I’ve been posting just isn’t really me at all. The posts that I enjoy writing the most are absolutely my disposable diaries, where I put a lot more creativity into them. So I’m going to try and incorporate a lot more editing and kind of aesthetic that comes across as a better representation of who am I. Hope you all enjoy it 🙂
Jumper: H&M / Skirt: Levis / Boots: River Island / Belt: Warehouse / Scrunchie: Princess Polly