feeling comfortable

Lately I’ve really been trying to better myself and just feel much more comfortable with the person that I am. I think that sometimes people focus too hard on trying to be perfectly happy, and while that would definitely be amazing, I personally don’t always see that as being able to be a reality. Sometimes this makes me feel like maybe I’m a bit pessimistic, but I think I’m just trying to be realistic and to aspire to getting to a place in my life where I won’t always be hoping for more than I have.

This is a really personal thing for me to be writing about on here, where I know that people that I don’t know, and even people who do know me will all be able to read it. I’ve always wanted for this blog to be a space where I can share absolutely anything I want, instead of trying to only show parts of myself that I think other people would want to see.

For a while I think I did try and sort of focus on only fashion on here for a period of time, and while I’m definitely still going to write about and incorporate fashion and clothing on here, that wouldn’t be a genuine and full representation of who I am.

Anyway, I’ve already rambled A LOT but I haven’t even really started to talk about what I was planning to in this post. My whole life I’ve really struggled with feeling comfortable in my own skin, and over the last year I think I’m finally starting to learn to accept myself more than ever. It has taken me years to get to the place and better mindset that I’m in right now. A major part of it might just be growing up, but there’s things I do that make me feel more confident too.

It’s probably a very superficial thing, but something that has made me feel so much more confident over the past year is having eyelash extensions. I always, without a doubt, used to wear a full face of makeup wherever I was going. It didn’t matter if I was literally going to the supermarket with my mum, or to work, I would put it all on. For the last couple of weeks the only makeup I’ve worn to work is some brow gel and mascara on my bottom lashes. For me this is just insane, and I think it all really started when I got my lashes done. I just feel like I don’t need to wear makeup as often, and I wear it now if I want to, not just because I don’t feel confident enough to leave the house without it.

When I started taking much better care of my skin this made me feel so much better about myself. My skin right now is definitely not perfect, but it’s the best that it’s been in a long time. I think it’s really down to me cutting back on all the products I use and focusing on using a good exfoliant and moisturiser. Also lots of lip balm, and of course drinking a lot of water.

In these photos I’m wearing hardly any makeup at all. I put some brow gel in, mascara for my bottom lashes, a little bit of eyeshadow, and a bit of highlighter on my cheekbones and nose. For me, that’s a big step. I usually would never have even taken photos of myself with this little makeup on, and now I’ve taken a whole bunch, and are posting them on the internet for whoever to see.

For years I tried to force myself to feel happy about the way I look, but now I feel like it’s much more important to just feel comfortable with who you are. It’s hard and it takes time, but I think I’m really starting to get there. I guess that’s the whole point of this post, sorry for rambling on so much.

Top: Mello Day / Jeans: Versace (Vintage) / Boots: Kmart / Bag: Love Stitch

disposable diary 2

My second disposable diary, and I really have loved doing these first two posts. I use disposable cameras like no tomorrow, and recently I finally discovered a place that develops film on site and can scan the prints onto a usb for me, which makes it so easy for me to share all my film photos in much better quality than I had been. I filled this camera pretty quickly, I think a massive part of that is attributed to knowing I was going to put together another one of these posts and being excited about it. Some of the photos from this camera I haven’t added however, because I really want to start incorporating film photos into the rest of my posts.

I honestly think these posts are the most genuinely ‘me’ out of everything I write and share on here. I know they’re very simple and short but I really do hope anyone taking the time to read them, likes them as much as I do.

things that shouldn’t work

If you know me, you know that while I really do love fashion and pulling together pretty outfits, a lot of the time I just kind of throw things together and hope that I can pull it off. Sometimes I don’t even make much of an effort, I sort of just guess if something will look good and hope for the best. Occasionally I look back on these and I hate the outfit I’d put on, but other times I actually like my quickly put together looks.

The night I took these photos was one of those occasions where I actually like my outfit, even though it’s something that really shouldn’t work together at all. Everything I’m wearing I love on their own, and I can easily say that I would never usually think to put them together if I was properly planning an outfit.

My house has been getting renovated over the past few months, and lately I’ve been staying with my boyfriend, so obviously I don’t have my entire wardrobe full of options like I usually would. I’m definitely a lot more limited than I like to be with my clothing, meaning I sometimes just have to make do, because I’m not about to go all the way to my place just to grab a different jacket or whatever, just to go do nothing really important.

This jacket makes me feel like Georgie in It, at the start of the movie when he wears a yellow raincoat just like this one, then proceeds to get his arm bitten off by the clown in the drain. I found it at TK Maxx, but its by French Connection. I think it’s so cute, the fact that it’s a perfect yellow makes me feel so happy. It’s lined nicely which is a plus, the only other raincoat I own is really just a shell, so you have to wear layers underneath, but this you can get away with none.

The Levi’s top is vintage, and the pants I bought from Mango while I was in Ireland. A green top and a pair of brown cords is not something I would usually ever think to put with each other, let alone with a yellow jacket added into the mix. Even though this outfit doesn’t really work technically, to me it still kinda does.

Btw I know the quality of these photos is horrific but I just couldn’t get my camera to work so they were all just taken on my phone.

Top: Vintage Levi’s / Jacket: French Connection / Pants: Mango / Shoes: Doc Martens

disposable diary 1

Anyone who really knows me knows that I love disposable cameras, and that I almost always have one on me. I take a lot of photos and I wanted to do something with them, so I thought what better way than to share them on here. I can’t commit to any sort of time frame with these, like a week or month, so I’m thinking that just whenever I get a camera developed I’ll just make a little post to share some of the photos. I hope you guys like this, I’m trying to make my blog a little bit more personal and not just feeling like I’m writing for the sake of it, and in turn sharing things that don’t even really represent me as a person. This type of post is something that’s very me, so I hope you like a little snippet of my life on film.

talking about my piercings

I’m the kind of person that’s super interested in piercings, I love hearing other people talk about theirs, and comparing my experiences of certain piercings with my own. I thought I’d write my own little post about my own piercings I’ve had done, and touch on the pain and healing process of each of them.

I have a total of 6 piercings; 3 in my ears, 2 in my nose, and 1 in my tongue webbing. At this point in time I don’t have my ear lobes pierced. I’ve had them pierced twice, both times they’ve ended up becoming infected and I’ve taken them out. The first time I got them done and then taken them out it wasn’t a big deal, but the second time they got really infected, and the back of my stud pretty much grew into my ear overnight. I had to get it cut out and get stitches in my ear lobe. So, after all this I’m feeling pretty scared to get them pierced again, but this did happen about 3 years ago so maybe after some more time I’ll end up getting them done again.

In my left ear I have my tragus done. This was my first cartilage piercing, and because I wasn’t 16 when I got this I had to get my mum to come with me and give parental permission. The first time I had my lobes done was about a year and a half before this and was done with a gun, so this was also the first piercing I’d had done with a needle. I was really nervous, but one of my friends who’d had their tragus done had told me it wasn’t painful at all, which eased my mind a bit. It did hurt though, it wasn’t awful, but it’s pretty close to the side of your head, so it feels really strange. It did get a little infected at first, which I was worried about at the time, but it fixed itself up pretty fast.

My right ear has two piercings, my rook and a little helix about half way up my ear. My helix I got not that long after my tragus, and the pain of this one felt so different to the pain of the thick cartilage of my tragus. Getting my helix done stung, a lot. It didn’t hurt a whole lot, but it really did sting, and that felt very weird to me. When I slept I had to sleep on the other side of my head because it really hurt to sleep on. It also would get stuck in my hair and pull sometimes, and it hurt a lot when it did this while being freshly pierced.

I would say my rook has been my most painful piercing. The cartilage that it pierces through isn’t as thick as the tragus, but it’s a lot harder and more stiff. I think I’ve gotten pretty good with the pain of piercings and tattoos, so they don’t bother me too much, but this one I remember more than any of my others because it hurt so much more. It was definitely worth it though, and the healing wasn’t too bad because it really never got in the way or caught in anything. If you really want this piercing then don’t let the pain put you off it.

Now onto my nose piercings, firstly the piercing in the right side of my nose. I got this one done about 3 years ago. I didn’t treat this piercing at all how I should’ve, and I changed the stud that I should’ve left in a lot longer than I did, after about 2-3 weeks. I changed the stud to a ring because that was always what I eventually wanted in my nose, but because I did it when my nose was not fully healed, it meant I got infected and it was pretty painful. The problems that I had with this piercing were all completely my fault, but it means that I’ve been a lot more careful with piercings I’ve had done since.

My septum is the most recent piercing I’ve had done. I’ve only had it for a bit over a month, and it hasn’t caused me too much trouble so far. It hurt a little to get it pierced, but I think because I was expecting it to be a lot worse, I was surprised that it wasn’t as bad as I thought. The worst part was cleaning it in the first couple of days. Every time I moved it around to clean it, it stung horribly, and a couple of times I almost cried. Now I have absolutely no problems with it, I can move it around and clean it and I can barely even feel it. I know that this is one of those piercings that a lot of people hate, but I really like it. Also, just a little side note, but the jewellery for this is silver unlike all of my other jewellery, which are all gold, only because where I went to get it pierced were all out of the gold horseshoes. When it’s all healed up though I will definitely be changing it so everything’s all matching.

Lastly, I have my tongue webbing pierced. This was easily the least painful piercing I’ve ever had done. Whenever I show it to people they think it must’ve been super painful, but in all honesty I could barely even feel it being done because the webbing is so thin. The most uncomfortable part of it was having to keep my tongue up in the same position for a minute or two while it was being pierced and then as the jewellery was being put in. All that I really felt was little bit of tugging when the jewellery was being put in. It’s a bit of a funny piercing to have done because it can’t really been seen unless I go out of my way to show people, but I still think it’s pretty cute. I have to apologise for how shit the photo is for this, but I literally could not get a photo better.