feeling comfortable

Lately I’ve really been trying to better myself and just feel much more comfortable with the person that I am. I think that sometimes people focus too hard on trying to be perfectly happy, and while that would definitely be amazing, I personally don’t always see that as being able to be a reality. Sometimes this makes me feel like maybe I’m a bit pessimistic, but I think I’m just trying to be realistic and to aspire to getting to a place in my life where I won’t always be hoping for more than I have.

This is a really personal thing for me to be writing about on here, where I know that people that I don’t know, and even people who do know me will all be able to read it. I’ve always wanted for this blog to be a space where I can share absolutely anything I want, instead of trying to only show parts of myself that I think other people would want to see.

For a while I think I did try and sort of focus on only fashion on here for a period of time, and while I’m definitely still going to write about and incorporate fashion and clothing on here, that wouldn’t be a genuine and full representation of who I am.

Anyway, I’ve already rambled A LOT but I haven’t even really started to talk about what I was planning to in this post. My whole life I’ve really struggled with feeling comfortable in my own skin, and over the last year I think I’m finally starting to learn to accept myself more than ever. It has taken me years to get to the place and better mindset that I’m in right now. A major part of it might just be growing up, but there’s things I do that make me feel more confident too.

It’s probably a very superficial thing, but something that has made me feel so much more confident over the past year is having eyelash extensions. I always, without a doubt, used to wear a full face of makeup wherever I was going. It didn’t matter if I was literally going to the supermarket with my mum, or to work, I would put it all on. For the last couple of weeks the only makeup I’ve worn to work is some brow gel and mascara on my bottom lashes. For me this is just insane, and I think it all really started when I got my lashes done. I just feel like I don’t need to wear makeup as often, and I wear it now if I want to, not just because I don’t feel confident enough to leave the house without it.

When I started taking much better care of my skin this made me feel so much better about myself. My skin right now is definitely not perfect, but it’s the best that it’s been in a long time. I think it’s really down to me cutting back on all the products I use and focusing on using a good exfoliant and moisturiser. Also lots of lip balm, and of course drinking a lot of water.

In these photos I’m wearing hardly any makeup at all. I put some brow gel in, mascara for my bottom lashes, a little bit of eyeshadow, and a bit of highlighter on my cheekbones and nose. For me, that’s a big step. I usually would never have even taken photos of myself with this little makeup on, and now I’ve taken a whole bunch, and are posting them on the internet for whoever to see.

For years I tried to force myself to feel happy about the way I look, but now I feel like it’s much more important to just feel comfortable with who you are. It’s hard and it takes time, but I think I’m really starting to get there. I guess that’s the whole point of this post, sorry for rambling on so much.

Top: Mello Day / Jeans: Versace (Vintage) / Boots: Kmart / Bag: Love Stitch

disposable diary 2

My second disposable diary, and I really have loved doing these first two posts. I use disposable cameras like no tomorrow, and recently I finally discovered a place that develops film on site and can scan the prints onto a usb for me, which makes it so easy for me to share all my film photos in much better quality than I had been. I filled this camera pretty quickly, I think a massive part of that is attributed to knowing I was going to put together another one of these posts and being excited about it. Some of the photos from this camera I haven’t added however, because I really want to start incorporating film photos into the rest of my posts.

I honestly think these posts are the most genuinely ‘me’ out of everything I write and share on here. I know they’re very simple and short but I really do hope anyone taking the time to read them, likes them as much as I do.

20 things I learned by 20

I was actually really upset about turning the big two zero, I cried the morning of my 20th birthday. I’m not 100% sure why it seemed to upset and scare me so much, but it did, and after dealing with my new age for the last 10 days I’ve decided to put together some of my thoughts and realisations from the past two decades of my life.

1. velvet is always a good idea

Anyone who really knows me, knows that I love wearing velvet more than almost anything, which links to my second point,

2. if you love wearing something, wear it 

It sounds so simple, but when I was younger it was hard sometimes for me to wear what I loved confidently, when they weren’t to everyone else’s taste.

3. disposable cameras are something I’ll always have on me

The most nostalgic way to capture moments, and the most special feeling when you get them developed, even if half the photos are complete shit.

4. let yourself feel every emotion you need to (it’s important)

5. but don’t hold onto negative emotions for too long

I always remember a quote from the five people you meet in heaven, “holding anger is a poison. it eats you from inside. we think that hating is a weapon that attacks the person who harmed us. but hatred is a curved blade. and the harm we do, we do to ourselves.”, which I read probably 5 or so years ago but has stuck with me through all this time.

6. indoor plants always make a space seem more homely

Get a little plant for your bedroom or wherever, and you’ll understand.

7. sometimes you have to force yourself to be creative

I seem to go through phases a lot where I feel completely uninspired, and sometimes to try and combat that, all I can do is to force it on myself a little. I used to draw a lot, and sadly I haven’t in much too long, but whenever I was feeling like I had no idea what to do to get myself feeling creative again, was to just make myself draw something, anything.

8. emerald jewellery will always be my thing

Emerald green and dark forest greens are my favourite shades of colour, so of course the jewellery that I love most has to contain emerald (or at least some other green stone), it just makes sense.

9. colour blocking outfits is a look and a half

Honestly, putting together an outfit made up of just one colour is one of my favourite things to do. Somehow it always seem to look so good, even when the pieces are super simple. Plus, this trend looks amazing dressed up or down so you can make it work however you want.

10. it’s okay not to know what you want to do with your life

All through school there seems to be this immense pressure to know what you want to do when you get out of, and now, going into my third year of being out of school I can say with confidence, that you have plenty of time to figure these things out, so don’t force yourself into making big decisions if you aren’t ready to.

11. don’t let people make you feel bad for spending money you earned on the things you want

I feel like it’s pretty common for people to make rude comments or judge people for spending more money on certain things than they personally would. I also feel like a lot of people like to look down on people for spending large amounts of money on material things. No, material things aren’t always forever, but the way that people like to shop and spend their money doesn’t make them shallow.

12. another thing people shouldn’t make you feel bad for: wanting to capture moments

Something I can’t stand is when people make you feel vain for taking photos of yourself, or as if you’re not living in the moment when you take photos or record what’s happening around you. While of course I think some things are not necessary to be documented, wanting to keep these memories forever is something really important to me.

13. you can never have too many jackets 

14. wash your denim as little as possible

Trust me on this one, washing denim too much will only wear it out faster. Only wash your denim once you get it dirty or you’ve worn them so much they actually need to be cleaned.

15. don’t just tell people you love them, show them

words can be easy, so showing people you mean what you say is important.

16. vintage clothing is going to be one of my favourite things for the foreseeable future

17. surround yourself with people who make you happy

Sometimes you have to associate with people you’d rather not at school or work or whatever, but you do get a choice in who you spend your time with outside of that, so you should choose wisely.

18. I was born on april fools day and I doubt the joke will ever end

19. patience is a virtue

My mums aunty always used to say this to me, and I’ve never forgotten it. I think most importantly, try to be as patient as you can with other people, it’s hard to know what’s going on beyond what you see.

20. no rain, no roses

I got this saying tattooed on me last year. It’s my preferred way of saying no pain, no gain. You can’t ever have the good without having the bad come along with it, and vice versa, and that’s something I always try to remind myself when I’m feeling low.

colours & textures

I’ve always been really into wearing colour, even when I was younger and it was kind of the edgy thing to be wearing all black everything. As much as I wanted to come off cool and different, I really just could never wear all black or monochrome everyday. Use of colour is something that hugely inspires me, not just in terms of fashion, but in almost every creative aspect of my life.

It’s a well known fact that colour can have a huge affect on your mood, and I think it’s absolutely true. I also find myself gravitating to certain colours and tones, and depending on how I feel I can definitely see changes in what I’m wearing depending on that. Wearing certain colours can definitely make me feel certain ways.

Green is my favourite colour, in particular dark emeralds and forest green shades. It’s always my favourite colour to wear by far, and I always seem to feel most comfortable and confident when I’m wearing it. The dress I’m wearing in this post is one of my favourite pieces in my whole wardrobe, and a lot of that is attributed to it’s gorgeous colour. I’m just so attracted to these shades of green, I feel like they suit me, and because of that wearing them makes me feel really good.

I think this dress is honestly perfect. Obviously the colour is completely beautiful, but the cut of it and the way that the satin makes it sit on the figure makes it so flattering. The fabric they’ve used for this dress is perfect for it’s style and shape, and it lets the cowl neck drape so beautifully.

Colour is the number one thing for me, but texture comes in close second. I love clothing and accessories with interesting materials and textures. I love fabrics like satin, velvet and corduroy, and the way that they can transform a piece of clothing that would otherwise be nothing at all special into something completely different. For instance, if this dress had been made in a jersey material or even cotton, it would look and sit completely different to how it does.

My bag is new, and I’m so obsessed with it. Again, the things that really attracted me to it was the colours, and the mock snakeskin leather. The colours on this bag are amazing. Firstly, its got my favourite green, plus a beautiful deep red and burnt orange. In theory, these colours just should not look good together, but I love them next to each other.

This bag is quite obviously a huge rip off of the Chloe Faye backpacks. If you’ve read any of my previous posts you may have seen the rip off Fendi bag I have, well this is from the same little asian shop that I bought that bag from. I know a lot of people are really against buying fake designer pieces, but I have no where near the funds to be able to afford the real version.

As a little side note, you can see the green theme flow through into my jewellery. Everyday I wear one necklace with green malachite, and a an emerald ring. My other necklace I bought in Ireland and it has two coins with claddagh rings on it, and I also wear an actual claddagh ring too.

But back to the point of this post, if you’re feeling bored of your wardrobe, just adding in some textures that you wouldn’t normally go for can completely change the vibe of your look. While I’ve always been really into colour, textures that aren’t ‘conventional’ for whatever piece they’re used in, seemed a little scarier and harder to wear. Even more so when they’re also coloured, just like my bag.

As I’ve gotten older (that sounds really dramatic considering I’m 19 years old), I’ve made the decision to wear whatever I want to, and things that make me feel confident and good about myself. Wearing clothes that I see as boring, reflect in my mood, but whenever I throw on an outfit like the one I’m wearing in this post, I feel very ‘me’, and I think that’s one of my favourite things about fashion and it’s something that I personally think a lot of people are forgetting. For me, fashion is a form of self expression, and that makes it so much fun.

finding my inspiration

Lately I’ve been finding it hard to decide on what to write, I haven’t been feeling super inspired and like I’m just having a bit of a creative block. It’s super inconvenient and always leaves me feeling a bit down. Over the years though, I’ve found some ways that seem to work for me in getting me back on track and starting to create things again.

Usually I use this blog to talk about fashion or beauty, but there’s only so much I can do of that before it starts getting repetitive. This space is always going to be one where I can talk about and share my love of those things, but I think it should also be one where I can talk about whatever I want, just my own little space to rant about anything.

Creativity is a tricky thing. It can be so up and down, and it can seem like either way can almost always be an extreme. I’ve always loved art, and over the last 2 years I’ve fallen back in love with drawing, but for the last 6 months I haven’t drawn. It’s a very upsetting thing, for me it feels like I’m losing a part of myself. Over the last week though, I’ve started painting again.

I think for me, inspiration comes from everywhere. Things as small as seeing a location, to things like visiting galleries can get my mind going.

The overall point of this post is just to talk about ways that can get me feeling like creating again, and maybe give anyone who needs a bit of help to feel a bit inspired again.

Tumblr is something I’ve used for years, and it almost will always have some images on it that I will fall in love with, and that will give me some ideas. Images in general are a major source of inspiration for me. Tumblr I particularly find useful for finding beautiful images of visual arts and photography.

Blogs are a huge inspiration, for obvious reasons, and there’s a few fashion bloggers in particular that are massive style loves of mine, but also just their whole aesthetic really speaks to me in one way or another. All of their instagrams I stalk on a regular basis too, and the feeds are beautiful.

Here’s a little list of some of my favourites:

Lizzy Hadfield – www.shotfromthestreet.com – @shotfromthestreet

Lucy Williams – www.fashionmenow.co.uk – @lucywilliams02

Lindsey Holland – www.ropesofholland.com – @ropesofholland

Yan Yan Chan – www.yanyanchan.com – @_yanyanchan

Devon Carlson (not a blogger, just an insta I love) @devonleecarlson

Something that always seems to help me with blogging, is just going out and taking photos before I even know what I want to write about. Sometimes I’ll think of the idea before I take the photos for the post, but with me it’s very common to take the photos first, and then what I want to write about will hit me.

I think it’s pretty obvious to say, but I do different things to inspire myself in each creative area I undertake. So for fashion and blogging, I love looking at instagram accounts like the ones I mentioned earlier. Each of those women really seems to have their own aesthetic, and seeing the way the outfits they wear reflect that is something that I always admire. A few of those girls have youtube accounts, and I love watching the videos they upload.

I’m a big believer in retail therapy (which is kind of sad to admit), so I am always checking asos’ new-in section and just looking around in stores to see if there’s any new styles that I fall in love with. Majority of the time at least one of these options will get me thinking about outfits and clothing again, and getting excited about them. And sometimes I just need a classic salvos trip to get me to really think more about what I want to do with clothing. I think it’s maybe the fact that sometimes the pieces you find are so unique that really excites me.

When I’m having a complete creative block in terms of making art, the main social media I look at is tumblr. I guess like all other forms of social media, tumblr is really all about what you make of it. I follow a lot of blogs that post visual art and beautiful photos, so for me I find it really inspiring. Things like magazines and books are of course also good, honestly any reading can help me.

Like everything in life, I know that each and every one of us has our own ways of dealing with the issues we encounter, but I just wanted to share some of the little things I like to do when I’m feeling a bit stuck in a rut just in case there’s anyone out there who needs a little nudge. I’m sure to a lot of people these things might sound very small and trivial, but they tend to give me the little bit of help I need to get things started. The biggest thing though I think is trying to clear your mind as much as possible before you try and bombard yourself with information. Don’t try and force creativity on yourself, just try and get inspired and the creativity will come to you. Trust me.